i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
