your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
