lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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