1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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