My Higher Power is John Stamos
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
