the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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