wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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