Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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