have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
