to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
