Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
