If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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