How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
