Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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