your room smells of hookers.
And success
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
