she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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