you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I FOUND THE LEGS
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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