a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
