Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
