Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
