hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
