You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
