Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
