There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
