No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
