***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
