Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
