Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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