Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize