Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
