Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
