Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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