if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
