My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
