I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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