I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
