sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You're so nebulous sometimes
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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