pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
