the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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