Sry I called you an 8
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
