oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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