Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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