im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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