We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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