So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
