My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
