don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
