i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Randomize
