I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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