if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
