Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
it was like eating out sand paper
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
